*edit* We finally have visas for China! I’m going to put updates in red. We’re leaving the country on February 22nd!

*Disclaimer* I am very excited about moving to China/abroad again in general. This post is half rant, half information for interested parties, half entertainment. (Yes, yes, Patrice, we’re all very impressed with your math, now stop showing off and let’s get on with it.)

“I’m going to China!”

“Great! When??”

“Umm… eventually… you know, visa things.”

Have you ever had this conversation with someone and been like, “what the hell does that mean? Does that mean that you aren’t adult enough to get your shit together? How hard can it be to apply for something, and get it done?” Well today I’m here to explain that a person in the middle of the visa process is #definitelyadulting and is probably a little ball – nay, a black hole! – of stress behind a very convincingly normal, calm, Mandarin-learning, adventure-loving face. Like mine! Here’s me right now, making everyone think I totally have it all under control, with my extremely calm demeanor.

(Official visa picture)

If you also happen to be on the verge of getting your Chinese visa, this might be useful to you. If you are also in the middle of it, here’s a safe space for you to commiserate. If you want to know how lucky you are that you don’t have the overwhelming urge to move abroad and live the expat lifestyle, let this be your validation!

So although I have also gotten visas for other countries (Spain, Germany, Korea, Vietnam, Argentina, Nepal), none of them were as complicated as this one has been. They required gathering documents and bringing them to an embassy either in my home country or abroad (or both), and then having a visa and moving on with my life. Or everything was taken care of at the airport, as it should have been (Argentina)! The documents may have been a pain to gather, but it was a hurdle that was eventually overcome. The process for my Chinese work visa, on the other hand, is another story. So far, it has involved about 15 trips to the post office, actual signatures from Secretary of State “Rex Tillerson” (x6), 2 trips to the local prison for fingerprints, and an impromptu trip to DC. And we’re not even halfway through. I also never saw this process laid out explicitly by anyone, so I’ve decided to do it myself with some nice flowcharts. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE, RIGHT? I have also made mistakes and had to redo SEVERAL of these, within step 1 alone.

STEP 1 – AUTHENTICATE ALL DOCUMENTS. DO NOT MAKE MISTAKES BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TO START OVER. There are 4 major documents we need to teach in China. Below are the documents themselves and the processes required for their authentications:

1. A medical check-up (to make sure we don’t spread around STDs like wild bunny rabbits) – This involves a chest x-ray and lots of blood work. Do not get this notarized. As we learned, if something is notarized that’s not supposed to be, it is no longer considered valid by Chinese authorities and must be re-issued.
2. A bachelor’s degree or higher – The last box (Chinese embassy authentication) currently takes 8 working days, in their words, “to check more things,” and there is no rush service. Don’t ask me what those things are, but our documents from 2 & 4 are at the Chinese embassy, waiting for authentication.
3. A 120hr+ TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) certificateThis might just need to be notarized, but it’s becoming more common to require authentication, as well — such as in our case (SO lucky). Because our TEFL certificates were issued by a UK company, we needed them to be authenticated by Chinese authorities in the UK. We paid $400 to a company that literally does this for a living. Where did they send our TEFL certificates? They sent them to the *Vietnamese* embassy. I feel like this needs to be reiterated. We paid this company $430 for a Chinese embassy authentication, and they sent it to the Vietnamese embassy instead. By some inexplicable stroke of fate, I checked in on it and caught the mistake before they sent it back to me, and the embarrassed Brits murmured an apology before quickly getting it off to the Chinese embassy within a few hours. We now have our TEFL certificates from the UK, validated by both the Vietnamese and Chinese authorities. Great.
4. An FBI background check — do not get this notarized, or you will have to start over. I’m serious. Also, don’t tear the paper when you’re making copies, because that also renders it invalid and you’ll need a new one. We had our fingerprints done at the local prison and got them notarized with our diplomas. The Chinese authorities in DC would not accept our notarized background checks. WE GOT TO THE END OF THE FLOWCHART AND THEN HAD TO START ALL OVER AGAIN. This was an expensive mistake that also added 3 weeks to our process. 

** It should also be noted that the Chinese embassy doesn’t “do” mail-in applications, so you might have a really nice aunt who lives in DC (#shoutout to my really nice aunt) who will make several trips to the embassy for you, or you might have to go through an expensive agent. And the Chinese embassy charges $25 per document, and doesn’t take personal checks. So add that to the list of things. 😃🔫 OH yeah, in case you need any help or have any questions, the Chinese embassy’s visa department doesn’t answer their phone, so good luck. I called all the Chinese consulates in the US and Canada, and the only one that answered the phone was in LA, between 9 and 11AM. They were not helpful, but kudos for answering the phone, guys (#lowstandards).

Remember, this is only step 1. It’s taken almost 3 months, and we’re finally at the end of the flowcharts for 2 & 4. Almost. They also get the whole week off for Christmas, turns out, so that week doesn’t count. You know, China is a very Christian country, after all. (????)

The embassy authentication took 8 working days (and then some extra for Christmas and New Year). We then emailed them to the school in China for step 2.

STEP 1.5 – drink lots of alcohol

STEP 2 – GET WORK PERMITS. All these documents need to be sent to China via email to our school, who will translate them into Chinese and then take them to that district’s local police authority. Eventually we are emailed a work permit. I’ve been told this step takes about 4 business days.

STEP 2.5 – buy more alcohol

The working visas took 15 business days to get in the end. We were told they wouldn’t come in until February 1st at the earliest, but we got them on January 24th. We printed them out and had to finish filling out the application for our visas, and then take them in person to apply for the visa.

STEP 3 – GET CHINESE Z-VISA. The Chinese work permits and the passports need to be taken to the Chinese authority that has jurisdiction over our state (in our case, the embassy). At the embassy’s leisure, they will grant us Z-visas. The website says this takes 2 days but WHO KNOWS.

STEP 3.5 – throw yourself a good-bye party with lots of alcohol

This took 4 working days to get from the embassy — we took them in on a Tuesday, and picked them up on Friday. It’s very important that when you apply for this Z visa, you bring a copy of your passport information page, or else you will be sent to the third floor to make copies, where you will see this sign:

STEP 4. – GO TO CHINA AND FINISH THE PROCESS. — this part is still fuzzy to me. In between steps 3 and 4, we’ll need to buy plane tickets, choose which school where we’ll teach, make some serious decisions regarding packing, get our cats ready to travel (yes, we’re taking them), book a cat-friendly Air BnB, buy VPNs (internet in China), sell our cars, and then move to China. Oh yeah, and we’re going to the Dominican Republic over Christmas. So we haven’t really gotten there mentally.

Once in China, we still had a month left for the visa process. Because of this, we couldn’t arrive during the holiday — we needed to come while all the government offices were still open (a pain because we wanted to come early, during the Lunar New Year). We got another medical check after we arrived, where they tested pretty much everything (basically they just wanted to make sure we didn’t have any infectious diseases). That cost about $126 (800RMB). Then we also had to give up our passports for a few weeks while the visa was put in there, and the cost of all the police stuff was 400RMB or about $63. We were happy when we finally got paid!!!

Now, next time we talk, maybe you won’t be so surprised that I still don’t know when we’re leaving. Maybe you can try saying, “what step are you on, Patrice?” or maybe something like “Patrice! I have a Prozac here in my purse! Would you like it?” or even “Patrice, you look so calm today!” you know, if you’re a totally oblivious person.

I’ll try to make edits as we continue through the steps, to help those in need. Enjoy your bureaucracy-free holidays, everyone!

Final Notes

This whole process was really expensive. I’m going to make a list of all our expenses for people who are considering going to China and want to know how much it costs per person. Of course, it will probably be different for everyone, but it gives you an idea of what to consider. This doesn’t include the cost of going to Washington, DC and staying in a hotel, if that’s what you’re doing, or any expedited services.

1. FBI background check: $40 (+ extra if you want it faster) + $8 US State-level authentication + $20 shipping there-and-back + $25 Chinese Embassy authentication = $93 — if you don’t make any mistakes!
2. Degree authentication: $5 SC state-level authentication + $20 shipping there-and-back + $8 US state-level authentication + $20 shipping there-and-back + $25 Chinese embassy authentication = $75 — plus a degree, lol
3. TEFL certificate (UK-based): $50 printing + $216 apostille services and courier = $276 — plus the cost of the certificate itself
4. Medical check: $200 for all the tests without insurance
5. Visa: $140

That brings the total cost to $784 per person at a minimum, for us living in South Carolina prior to our move and the special TEFL certificate authentication. We also didn’t have to book a hotel during our stay in DC, which was really nice. And we made a lot of mistakes, which I detailed above – in total, I’m sure we spent upwards of $2000 for all of this, and that’s before all the flights and hotels to get started.

I hope this helps someone with the Chinese visa process!!