I’m not an expert on Chinese culture, and this is meant to be from my observations only. It is also not meant to be an insult in any way, because I really am enjoying China and love living here. But if anyone has some insight that agrees with or is contrary to my opinion, feel free to drop me a comment!

1. Chinese people really, REALLY value their naptime.

I knew that my students take a nap in the middle of the school day, but it wasn’t until I started taking advantage of my resulting 2.5-hour lunch break that I realized: EVERYONE naps. What would you do if you had 2.5 free hours in the middle of your day? I used to only have an hour and 40 minutes (still unbelievably long) but this semester, it was stretched to 2.5 hours. So on Wednesdays, I go for a run near my house. One day, I was running around 12:30, and there were construction workers napping on the grass by the sidewalk. No kidding. It is so common to nap in southern China during the lunch hour(s) that when Chinese people say “have a rest,” they often mean, “take a nap.” On one hand, imagine how much could be accomplished/how much earlier people could go home if they didn’t take that time off. On the other hand, it really is such a great opportunity to get in some Zs. I approve.

2. Chinese speakers think of the future and the past in a different way from English speakers.

In English, we think about the past and the future as behind us and in front of us, respectively. Not so in Chinese. The word for “ahead” in Mandarin is “qiánmian” 前面 (as in, it’s ahead of us — I can see it). But the word for past is “yǐqián” 以前. Why? The past is something you can see, as you can see something when you’re looking forward. But you can’t see the future, you only know what’s behind you (the word for future is 未来 “wèilái” — or not come). Trippy, right? I find, when learning a new language, it takes a few days to wrap your mind around new concepts like this. But it could explain a bit of the lack of planning that has been evident to me in Chinese culture… if you can’t see it, why put thought into it?

3. Actually there is no planning.

This is not a diss on Chinese culture. It’s more of a surprise. I am always blown away by how well-planned the city of Shenzhen is — full of green space, super convenient public transportation, and stunningly modern architecture. That means that, 40 years ago, someone planned for (1) expansion to millions of people, (2) gradually-built subway lines along with that expansion, and (3) improving technology along the way. And then, my school has no idea when their break starts until 3 weeks before the semester ends. What a juxtaposition. Or when we asked for our monthly cleaning service to be scheduled, someone made an appointment for the maid who was supposed to have the day off. How could you not know? How do people plan anything? I’m starting to realize that they pretty much don’t. Unless it’s cities.

4. Saving face is real, and can be really awkward.

Anyone who knows me can attest that I am really bad at remembering what things look like. It’s a curse! My justification is that this is why my language-learning skills are strong: because I only have so much brain space, and most of that is devoted to the way things sound. But anyway, I totally mistook one Chinese colleague (Dora, whom I’ve seen like at least 10 times) for another (Shelly, with whom I had dinner once and also see around school). And then I asked “Shelly” how her grade 8 class was doing. Dora smiled and nodded, and got back to what she was doing. She was trying to save my face by not calling me out on my mistake. But afterward, I was totally embarrassed when I realized that she was actually Dora! This is just one example of many in which people don’t call out others’ mistakes in order to maintain social harmony. In the West, Dora would have said, “Patrice! I’m Dora, not Shelly, you moron!” and we could have had a good laugh! But Dora had to protect my feelings by sitting there, pretending to be Shelly. Oh well.

5. There’s a lot of yelling, but it’s not because people are mad.

Now that I’m beginning to understand some Chinese, I’m realizing that people yelling at each other on the bus, on the street, or in the grocery store is usually just normal conversation. Yell-talking, if you will. Then why all the noise? Well, most people know that Mandarin is a tonal language (for example, “ma!” means something different from “ma?” etc.). The result is that intonation and vowels are really important. So the louder the vowels, the better (more on that later). Who is usually yelling? Older people who are hard of hearing. So an elevation in volume is not necessarily associated with anger. I did witness an altercation once in the grocery store, when a woman walked away after paying and then came back to contest the price of an item. At that point, the cashier was already scanning my groceries. So she was talking at him while he kind of ignored her, called over someone to help, who also talked to her (and didn’t yell) and she walked away in a huff. Super dramatic. I think this altercation was pretty rare in this culture of saving face.

6. Spoken Mandarin is incredibly varied across the country.

Within China, there are 8 different linguistic groups, and hundreds of dialects. Two of the most-spoken languages are Mandarin (spoken mostly in the north) and Cantonese (spoken mostly in the south). Shenzhen is a brand new city — it doesn’t have deep Cantonese roots, apart from the small fishing villages that used to be in this, otherwise, jungle. So the majority of Shenzhen residents are migrants who speak Mandarin — the country’s official language since 1913. But Mandarin around the country takes on its own life. While vowels, for the most part, remain the same, consonants go all over the place. Mandarin has 3 different varieties for a “sh”-like sound, but Cantonese speakers can’t produce that, so Guangzhou natives tend to say “sang” instead of “shang.” But that’s just the beginning. Hunan-natives change their Hs to Fs and their Ns to Ls, so instead of being from “Hunan,” they’re from “Fulan” Province. Our neighbor, from Sichuan province, switches his Ns with Rs, so when I “shàng bān” (go to work) in the morning and he sees me outside the elevator, he asks me, “sang bar?” Seth and I are happy to be learning Chinese (Mandarin) from a “běifāngrén”, or a northern person, with a very clean accent. 

7. Southern Chinese food is not really anything to write home about.

I love a LOT of things about living in China, but the food is not one of them. Their claim to fame here is dumplings (ooh, what’s that!?!) and while they’re good, you can only eat so many before you never want to see another dumpling for months. That’s how a lot of the food is here — fine, and then after a few bites, it all starts to taste the same: hot pot, barbecue, noodles, etc. I’ve heard the food in other parts of the country is very good, but in this Cantonese region, it’s a bit underwhelming. For the most part, we cook at home or mix it up with other food from all over the world. There’s no shortage of that: one of the many advantages to living in a big city.

8. Chinese people really “get” convenience.

Have you ever woken up on a Sunday and thought, “I would really like a McDonald’s egg mc-muffin/a coffee from Starbucks/some groceries delivered to my door right now”? Well, in China, YOU CAN DO THAT. Just order it from the kangaroo app on your phone *see the kangaroo man above delivering food to lazy people like me*. The amazing public transportation means that I can check the map to see how to get somewhere the fastest (metro, bus or a combination of that and a bicycle), then use another app to see when the next bus/metro is coming. Do you need a maid to come clean your home, cook, take care of your elderly parents, or watch your pets? As long as you speak Chinese, you can order that from your phone, too. Don’t have your bus/metro pass? Use the app to have your fare (about 50 cents) taken directly from your account. I can’t stress enough how easy this makes my life.

9. Life with a VPN is pretty normal.

Everybody knows that the internet is quite blocked in China, but most people don’t know that when you have a VPN (a Virtual Private Network), it’s a very minor inconvenience — it involves a subscription which can be free or up to $100 per year (but usually cheaper) and an app that you switch on and off. Within China, the Chinese Internet is stupid fast (see aforementioned super convenient services). When I want to check my email, google something, get on Pinterest, watch youtube, or use Facebook or Instagram, I turn on my VPN. Otherwise, I don’t need it. If I keep my VPN on while using the Chinese internet, it slows down the system or websites are sometimes inaccessible (because I’m routed out of the country). If you’re considering coming to China, I recommend going with a lesser-known one, rather than the big names like Express or Vypr. That said, when your VPN is down (which sometimes happens when China is cracking down), it totally feels like the end of the world.

10. A lot of Western foods aren’t really “clicking” here. Yet, anyway.

Case in point: avocados. People have no idea what to do with them. The grocery stores are selling them (god bless’em) but there are signs everywhere that explain how to open them, and give ideas on how to eat them. I have never once seen a Chinese person put one in their cart. One time, I saw a woman standing in front of the avocados in the grocery store for a full minute, and then walk away. This obviously has nothing to do with intelligence — they just have zero experience with avocados. But it’s still kind of hilarious to me. The same is true with cheese: Chinese restaurants selling something that looks like a burrito will put a sweet white or yellow dressing on them (and no cheese), maybe because it looks like the melted cheese in a picture of a burrito? (Thank god for foreigner-owned restaurants). I have also experienced an otherwise delicious fruit salad, laden with mayonnaise. Not kidding. Oh, and one Chinese pizza joint topped our salmon-avocado pizza with peaches and strawberry icing. WHY.